Wrapping Up A Grace-Filled Year

 

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” –Galatians 2:20

 

There is no verse more fitting to conclude my year-long intimacy fast than Galatians 2:20. The 1,000+ words I’m about to type can’t even come close to summarizing 2011 as eloquently and simply as Galatians 2:20. Perhaps I should just stop typing now…

On second thought, you all know I’m far too long-winded to do that. 🙂

Wow! WHAT A YEAR! What an intimate, challenging, powerful, humbling year! I cannot believe 2011 has already come to a close. It seems like we began our journey only a few days ago. But the year is set in stone. Another year of life in the books. A year we will never get back. Did you make the most of yours?

There are SO many different ways I could structure this final “Kissless ’till Next Christmas” post. And SO many words I could type. So many things I never had the time to share throughout the year. But, I figure the easiest way to summarize this fantastic journey is by answering some really common questions I got throughout the year, and since the year has ended. Ready for a little Q & A?

Q: Did you REALLY make it the WHOLE year without sharing even as much as a kiss?

A: I sure did. Absolutely. Without a doubt. Did it. Made it. Loved it! It was not an easy year, by any means. It did not come without great sacrifice, bouts of loneliness, apprehensions. At times it really hurt. At the beginning of the year I tried to rekindle a relationship (void of the physicality) with my then-boyfriend, but that wasn’t what God had asked for. He had asked for all of me. 100% of my heart. So I had to cut myself off from a wonderful man and move forward with my pledge to our King. Is that normal? Probably not. But was it worth it? Without a doubt. I am a woman who honors my commitments, and I made a commitment to God. There was nothing that was going to deter me from my promise. Satan tried, Satan failed. People tried, people failed. There was plenty that could have distracted me, but as time progressed, God revealed Himself in such beautiful ways. As time progressed, He cleansed my heart of temptation. He cleansed my heart of lustful desire. He cleansed my heart of negativity, apprehension, fatigue. He cleansed my heart of so many of the emotions and desires that young adults get caught up in. And when my heart was scrubbed clean, He filled it with so much Light! So much hope! So much joy! I would say that after the third month, reliance on a guy was the last thing on my mind. I was, and continue to be, so wrapped in such an intimate and filling relationship with our Lord, that words can’t even do justice for His sufficiency. His grace was enough.

Q. So you didn’t even date?

A. Nope! No dates for me. I feel like half of the people reading this, who have never met me, must have this crazy image in their head of a pale, lonely girl locked away in her apartment with a metal chastity belt strapped on like underwear. HAHA! Get real! Just because I wasn’t out hooking up, dating, or searching for a relationship, doesn’t mean that I wasn’t out living life like a normal woman! Throughout this year I continued to hang with friends and have fun. By tom-boy default, most of my closest friends are guys. I spent plenty of time with them! Heck, I was training with the football boys the entire year. There was no avoiding the smelly testosterone! But, contrary to popular belief, it IS absolutely possible for a girl to have normal, healthy friendships with guys. Those friendships are made even stronger and healthier when you take any chance at physicality completely off the table. I’m not naive. I know how a man’s mind works. I’m well aware that some of their thoughts likely weren’t as pure as mine. But I’m also a firm believer that men aren’t as one-tracked as society makes them out to be. And I have plenty of amazing male friends who would back me on that. Consider it field research. Women, if you want a man to treat you with respect, earn their respect. Don’t assume it will be given. Especially when you are the one teasing them with what you wear, how you act, and the games you play. It comes down to respecting each others’ hearts by being intentional in your actions, intentional in your interactions, and intentional with your words. No dates for me, but so many amazing friendships developed.

Q. Now that the fast is over, have you kissed anyone? Are you going crazy?

A. Probably the most frustrating, and most common, question that I’ve gotten since the end of 2011. *Deep breath* If, by now, you are STILL under the assumption that this year-long fast was simply and solely based around the physical component, you are so far off track. Biblically, fasting and prayer are emphasized as sacrifices to God. In denying ourselves of something, we are showing obedience and discipline to the Lord. We are trusting that He will provide for us, answer our prayers, and nourish us with what we lack. Psalms 35:13 so beautifully states, “I humbled my soul with fasting …” People fast in all different ways. Many will fast from food and drink, some will fast from activity, etc. I was simply moved to fast from intimacy. Not because I was some wild girl before, not because I wanted to cover up my past and let everybody know that I was new and changed. Absolutely not. Why would I have given up an entire year of my life just to prove a point to people? Get real. If those were my motives, I never would have made it. I was solely moved to make this sacrifice by God, alone. And I am so glad that I did. He has changed my heart, piece by piece, from the inside out. He has given me new perspective, new appreciation, and new drive. Those of little faith may assume that a fast only leads to great hunger. But a fast supplemented by the grace of Jesus Christ, leads to wisdom, refinement, perspective, and faith. His grace is so sufficient. I never hungered and never thirsted for intimacy. His love was too abundant. I stand now with arms high and heart abandoned, chained only to the love of Jesus Christ. I have not kissed a boy since my fast ended. And I am planning on saving my next kiss for a man I feel God has very purposely placed in my life, and perhaps has designed for me to marry. I don’t know that man yet, but I know he will come along on God’s timing. And I am more than willing to wait…

Q: Do you feel like you missed out on anything this year?

A: Not at all. And I say that in all honesty. The Lord assures us that if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. He assures us that if we honor Him with our time, our talents, our hearts, He will honor us with blessings, adornment, and comfort. That Man comes through on his Word! Ha! This has been the most unbelievable, fulfilling, overwhelming year of my life! I have lacked in nothing spiritually or emotionally or physically. He has flooded my heart with humbling grace and perfect love. He is all I need. Anything after Him is just icing on the cake. Blessings that I look forward to receiving and then distributing for His Glory and His name! Maybe I sound crazy to some, but I am being absolutely honest. And absolutely transparent. I can promise you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if you give a piece of yourself to the Lord, as much as you can muster, He will complete you. He will free you from the bondage of this temporary life, and reveal to you what Life in Him looks and feels like. Man, it’s amazing. And it only gets better. No matter your circumstance, your history, your background, your present…HE has a future for you! And it’s beyond your wildest dream.

Q: What did you learn through all of this?

I was so naive to think that when I began the fast, I knew exactly what God was going to do in my heart and to teach me. I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew what He had in store. Man, was I wrong! If I tried to list everything the Lord has revealed to me this year, I would run out of blog space! He taught me what it means to seek His face. What it means to be a Godly woman, and what that looks like. What a Godly man looks like. What it means to truly be in a Christ-centered relationship. He taught me trust, compassion, love. True love, and what that entails. He taught me dependence, unbridled faith, unashamed Life in Him. He revealed to me boldness, courage, and heart. He revealed to me what it looks like for my will to align with His. He taught me the joys of the fruits of labor done in His name. He taught me how to read the Word with clarity. He taught me how to boldly pray. How to constantly pray. How to fearlessly pray. He taught me how to love others based on the foundation of my love for Him. He taught me that He will teach me my whole life. That I will never have it fully figured out, but that it all is based in the root of love. God’s love for us, God’s love for His Son. His Son’s love for us, our love for Him. He taught me more than I can teach. He taught me Truth.

Q: What’s next?

Now that the year is over, a new year begins. And a new journey begins! It is time to live life unashamed. It is time to live life for His glory! As I take on the uncertainty and excitement of this new year, I hope you all will join me! Join me in following the steps I take in my walk with the Lord. Join me in redefining our lives based NOT around the odds and chances of the world, but based solely around God’s Odds. Devalue the doubt and live boldly!

The odds are in your favor! Do you believe?

“Back to the Basics” (part 1 of 3)

So, now that I have finished sharing my personal testimony with you, it’s time to embark on this incredible journey together and grow closer to our King! Before I begin, I really want to thank you for following up to this point. Can you believe it has already been a month? I hope you are as excited as I am for what this year has in store. It’s my belief that, no matter age, race, gender, social class, or any other “category” this world may label each of us in, we are all beautifully equal and we ALL have the ability to learn from one another and be inspired by one another.  It has been such a blessing hearing from SO many; I hope you understand how much you play a role in this challenge. You are the one encouraging me and keeping me focused. So let’s get started!

I find that in sports, as well as in school and relationships and work, it is unbelievably beneficial to go “back to the basics” and periodically re-visit the fundamentals of what we do.  At times, we get so comfortable in our successes, that we have the tendency to unknowingly become stagnant in our progress and growth. But, if we take a little time to humble ourselves and study the core principles of our activities, it’s often refreshing and beneficial.  With that being said, what are the core principles of our faith? If somebody walked up to you today and asked you what it is you believe, what would you say? How would you summarize all that Christianity entails quickly enough to keep their attention? And would you truly believe your own words? What are the foundations of your life?

It’s easiest for me to break it into 3 points. Three core, elementary principles that we MUST believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Three fundamentals that are all interconnected and are the basis of our Christian walks.  It is not up to us to pick and choose which one we like best, we must be convicted in all three, wholeheartedly.

First, and most simply, we have to believe that Jesus Christ was a real man.  A human being that walked this earth and was bound by all of the same temptations, tendencies, desires, and abilities as you and I. He was real. He is a historical figure.  There is little that can really even be debated about this point because it is simply historical knowledge. He was a human being that existed.

It’s a bummer for Jesus that there wasn’t internet or twitter or cameras back then, because it seems like, now-a-days, the only content people will believe is the content the pops up on their iPhones.  The content they can physically see.  But all it takes to prove this human being’s existence is a trip to the library. Christianity is not the only religion that recognizes that this man was very real.  He was a magnificent man and a true leader.  He was a man who lived with purpose and a man who lived PERFECTLY.

That’s the one factor that boggles my mind the most.  This man lived in a way that no other man had lived before Him and that no other man has lived since Him.  He lived PERFECTLY! He was bound by all of the same human limitations we are bound by, and He STILL lived without flaw.  He was never afraid to live completely differently than every single person around Him.  He was never afraid to defy the kings and leaders of the land in order to stand strong by what He believed. Can you even imagine? It’s hard for me to even wrap my head around sometimes. And it gets me SO fired up.  This man was exceptional! He was 100% convicted in His purpose and He never faltered.  He never stumbled.  Good grief, I stumble daily. I stumble hourly. Yet this man lived His entire life and never lost His footing.  He was completely obedient, no matter the sacrifice or suffering He had to endure. And He taught, passionately.

Whether or not you choose to recognize this man as the son of God, which is a point we will look at tomorrow, you cannot deny that this man was exceptional.  He was real and He was fantastic.  He was a genuine leader and He stood strong on the principles of everything we should strive towards.  He must be respected.  He was a human being that must be respected.  It drives me crazy to sit through history class and leadership class and listen to all of these other individuals addressed (Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Desmond Tutu, Hitler, George Washington, etc.) for their exceptional leadership and sacrifice, yet modern culture refuses to print and teach content about Jesus Christ. HELLO! He was the greatest leader that ever walked the face of this earth.  He set the example for every single individual that has followed Him.  He, single-handedly, built the framework for what leadership is and how we should strive to live our lives!

I could ramble on for hours about this first point, but the basics of this first fundamental are simple.  We must recognize and give validity to the man, Jesus Christ.  He was a human being that deserves every single person on this earth’s respect. All spiritual and religious components aside, He was a human being that must be celebrated. Because He did it all correctly. And He never failed.

How, then…you may be wondering…was this human being capable of such perfection? How was He able to perform all of the acts that He did and resist all of the temptations? How was this man capable of living so flawlessly? Well, that leads us to the second pillar of our foundation…

(to be continued)

Break Free Little Girl

Back in 2007, I wrote my best friend, Annie, a poem for her graduation.  She was transitioning into college and hesitant about entering a completely new phase in her life. I wanted to express to her my deepest passion for her heart and assure her that I would always love her and that God would always guide her. This poem was written long before anything happened to my daddy and long before my car accident. It was simply written to inspire strength in a friend.  Now, 4 years later, I stumbled across this poem and trembled when I read it.  The strength it had once provided my friend, it now provides me.  It amazes me how different all of our circumstances and conditions may be, but what similar emotions we all share. God is so beautiful.

 

“Break Free Little Girl”

 

It makes so much sense to want to run,

to flee from the shackles and sprint towards the sun.

It makes so much sense to attempt to fly,

though conformity grounds us each time we try.

It makes so much sense to duck and hide,

serenity and solitude appeal side by side.

It makes so much sense to shed all our tears,

but you can’t if you’re drowned in judgmental sneers.

 

Break free little girl,

and sprint towards the sun.

Strap on your wings,

and take off with a run.

Dip through the darkness,

and find your own place.

Let your sewn-up tears,

pour down your face.

 

Let your running and flying

break through the chains.

Let your lovely emotions

cut through the pain.

Let your hair wisp sharply

and laugh, little girl.

Do a dance of liberation

your canvas—the world.

 

So paint your own future,

determine your fate.

Cut your own path,

and lose your way.

Then find yourself again,

when you know you aren’t lost.

And hold your head high,

no matter the cost.

 

Break free little girl,

and dance for the moon.

As it gazes upon you,

and shadows the gloom.

Sing a song of triumph,

in your darkest day.

Since you know, little girl

that you found your own way.

 

Now you stand at a crossroad,

with two paths at hand.

One a life of selflessness,

certainty, and plan.

The other a winding

trail of ambiguity,

with inhibition trodden on

beside dependency.

 

Along the path you choose

lies another divide,

Two courses you may take

to the friends you may find.

One a path of integrity,

faithfulness, and trust.

The other of obstruction,

deceit, and lust.

 

Break free little girl

and travel these paths.

If you find you’re misguided,

turn around and backtrack.

Slash the shrubs that hinder

your journey’s progress,

and pave the course you choose

with loud confidence.

 

Live your life to the fullest

and hold your friends near.

Cherish your family,

for whom you owe all your years.

Let your eyes gleam with pride

that swells from your soul,

And embrace all the love

that your heart soon shall dole.

 

When faced with adversity,

run little girl.

To your deepest of thoughts

in your very own world.

Knead your faith for the answers

to life’s hardest angst,

and hold dear to the morals

you have leaned strong against.

 

Stand high on your platform

of character and will.

Think always with your soul,

for your ego gasps ill.

Remain humble and retire

to your childish awe.

Find excitement and passion

in everything small.

 

Break free little girl

and dance for the moon.

As it gazes upon you,

and shadows the gloom.

Sing a song of triumph,

in your darkest day.

Since you know, little girl

you will pave your own way.

 

 

 

–Mo Isom, 2007

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Story (part 19)

“That their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself.”
Colossians 2:2

I likened my mind, at the time, to a large craft table with puzzle pieces scattered on top.  One piece being the concept of a fast. Another piece being His desire for me to be public with my journey. Another piece being His desire for more control. Another piece being my self-confidence. Another being my platform. Another, my vulnerability. And so on. It was a massive puzzle that would have been impossible for me to assemble on my own. It was a puzzle, when assembled completely, that showed a much bigger picture of all that was on my heart. A much bigger picture that was impossible to see by just studying one piece at a time.  A picture of His purpose.

As quickly as I had offered up myself to Him and accepted His calling, the puzzle pieces began sliding into place and assembling themselves.  It was surreal, feeling Him stringing together each piece–allowing me to see portions of His plan. The portions were beautiful.  They were intricate. Little by little, everything began to make so much sense.  I have never experienced anything of that magnitude before. I have never had God, so clearly, reveal to me His purpose.  I was overwhelmed by His fantastic mercy and grace. Though I knew He was just giving me the tiniest taste, I was savoring the flavor–in awe of His grandeur.

He made it very clear to me that, as I told you earlier, He wanted me to give Him the next level of control.  He desired a year-long intimacy fast, and He desired I make every single step of it very public.  He inspired me to name my mission, and inspired me to spread His word as quickly and as passionately as I could.  He purged me of my fear–every trace of hesitation, He eliminated.  He assured me that, if I came to Him in prayer before writing or speaking, it would be He who wrote and spoke through me.  He challenged me to be His vessel. Challenged me to be stronger than I had ever been before, and assured me He would bless me with that strength.  I could go on and on about all that He revealed to me for this year, but that would take countless more blog posts and pages.  The point of my ramblings is to express to you, first-hand, the unbelievable works that I have seen.  By putting aside my own feelings and opinions and, instead, allowing Him to drive my course, I was purged of my fear and apprehension. I was freed from the chains of my desires and rejuvenated in His purpose. It was spectacular!

Where that leaves us, now, at the end of this LONG story, is at the beginning of a new journey.  A journey that will undoubtedly be challenging. Exhausting. Emotional.  But a journey to draw nearer to our King. The bright side? You all won’t have to feel all of the struggles and challenges of the mission, you all will just get to see the beautiful results each day :). But in order to inspire you and teach you of His grace, I will gladly take on those burdens.  I can admit that I will not always have the right answers. I am young in my journey, just as you may be, and I am bound by human tendency as well. I will likely make mistakes and stumble through. However, I WILL achieve His calling and I will always, first and foremost, be pure in my intentions.  I will express nothing to you without first taking it to prayer, studying it passionately, and consulting the spiritual leaders in my life.  But I want to take this walk together, and I am so grateful you have followed up to this point. I hope you will check in throughout the year and maybe learn a thing or two along-side me.

Let’s be exceptional! Let’s be different. Different from everything this world tells us to be. Let’s not just be “cultural Christians”, let’s pursue Him. Pursue His word, pursue His truth, and pursue His kingdom! Let’s give Him control!

My Story (part 15)

“Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20

Even though I was not at the pinnacle of my game due to the time spent in recovery from the accident and the immediacy of the invitation to camp, I was still able to have a fantastic showing with the National Team and was provided a platform to continue my discipleship.

The next portion of my testimony will be vague, because it is a topic that I want to climb much deeper into later during the year. A topic I feel will be most beneficial for younger adults and friends around my age.  However, I want to include a tag to this relationship within my story, because it provided more guidance, strength, and encouragement than any I have come across before. And it also plays a part in why I have taken on the challenge of remaining “Kissless ’till Next Christmas”.

A spiritual mentor of mine once taught me a lesson that I will carry with me for all of my days. He informed me that: a woman should never pursue a man. A woman should pursue a deeper, more intimate relationship with Christ. In turn, Christ will then inspire the man, constructed perfectly for her, to pursue her heart.  And in doing so, the man will be drawn closer to God as well.

It seems cliché to say that as soon as you stop looking to find someone, someone comes along. However, that was precisely what happened to me half a year after my accident.  At the same time that God was rewarding me with the splendor of athletic progress, he also sent a man into my life whom I will respect and cherish forever. A man I was not looking for. A man I did not plan on finding. But a man who walked so humbly into my life, that I couldn’t help but take notice.

I met Joey when I was sharing my testimony at a FCA in Louisiana. An excellent musician, he was there leading praise and worship for the group.  The minute I met him, I was entranced. He was my complete opposite. Shy, reserved, a man of few words. He was not my “type”, not my taste. But I was mesmerized. There was something different about him.  Something I couldn’t put my finger on. His eyes told a story of his purpose. He was unfazed by the standards of our society. Unamused by the earthly manifold. He was living for One–and it shined through him.

Quite commonly known, 1 Corinthians 15:13 instructs us, “Do not be mislead. Bad company corrupts good character.” In turn, there are countless other verses in the Bible that assure us of the inverse. Assure us that, in surrounding ourselves with the right people and those in pursuit of Truth, our hearts can be nurtured and our spirits can grow.

Over the course of the next 6 months, Joey and I journeyed through the most Christ-centered relationship that I have ever known.  It was beautiful. It was simple. It was pure, and it was healthy. It was a relationship of purpose and a relationship of love. Love for one another, but above all else, love for our King.  Each pursuing Christ on our own separate walks, we were able to encourage one another, challenge one another, and inspire one another to grow.  Joey was a man of conviction. He was exceptional. A man who believes every single word in the pages of the Bible and applies them, first and foremost, in every single thing he does in his life. He was a man that had a past, like many, but a man that had a future. A future with our King.

Being surrounded in the company of such conviction and strength taught me more about our Lord than any bible study lesson or church service ever had before.  Because I was not simply sitting and listening to words, I was observing a man living them out to the best of his ability. Stumbling and slipping at times, but picking himself back up and continuing his journey to Christ. He was like a horse with blinders on. He had one focus, and that focus was salvation. That focus was our King. All else in his life fell perfectly into place, because he recognized true importance and invested his whole heart into it.

You may be wondering, why then, I ended my relationship with Joey–as swiftly and as bluntly as the turning of a page.  But the answer to that lies in my current calling. The answer to that can only be described in feeling. A feeling God placed on my heart and a mission He desired that I fulfill. A mission that would impact so many more than just myself…

(to be continued)