“That their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself.”
I likened my mind, at the time, to a large craft table with puzzle pieces scattered on top. One piece being the concept of a fast. Another piece being His desire for me to be public with my journey. Another piece being His desire for more control. Another piece being my self-confidence. Another being my platform. Another, my vulnerability. And so on. It was a massive puzzle that would have been impossible for me to assemble on my own. It was a puzzle, when assembled completely, that showed a much bigger picture of all that was on my heart. A much bigger picture that was impossible to see by just studying one piece at a time. A picture of His purpose.
As quickly as I had offered up myself to Him and accepted His calling, the puzzle pieces began sliding into place and assembling themselves. It was surreal, feeling Him stringing together each piece–allowing me to see portions of His plan. The portions were beautiful. They were intricate. Little by little, everything began to make so much sense. I have never experienced anything of that magnitude before. I have never had God, so clearly, reveal to me His purpose. I was overwhelmed by His fantastic mercy and grace. Though I knew He was just giving me the tiniest taste, I was savoring the flavor–in awe of His grandeur.
He made it very clear to me that, as I told you earlier, He wanted me to give Him the next level of control. He desired a year-long intimacy fast, and He desired I make every single step of it very public. He inspired me to name my mission, and inspired me to spread His word as quickly and as passionately as I could. He purged me of my fear–every trace of hesitation, He eliminated. He assured me that, if I came to Him in prayer before writing or speaking, it would be He who wrote and spoke through me. He challenged me to be His vessel. Challenged me to be stronger than I had ever been before, and assured me He would bless me with that strength. I could go on and on about all that He revealed to me for this year, but that would take countless more blog posts and pages. The point of my ramblings is to express to you, first-hand, the unbelievable works that I have seen. By putting aside my own feelings and opinions and, instead, allowing Him to drive my course, I was purged of my fear and apprehension. I was freed from the chains of my desires and rejuvenated in His purpose. It was spectacular!
Where that leaves us, now, at the end of this LONG story, is at the beginning of a new journey. A journey that will undoubtedly be challenging. Exhausting. Emotional. But a journey to draw nearer to our King. The bright side? You all won’t have to feel all of the struggles and challenges of the mission, you all will just get to see the beautiful results each day :). But in order to inspire you and teach you of His grace, I will gladly take on those burdens. I can admit that I will not always have the right answers. I am young in my journey, just as you may be, and I am bound by human tendency as well. I will likely make mistakes and stumble through. However, I WILL achieve His calling and I will always, first and foremost, be pure in my intentions. I will express nothing to you without first taking it to prayer, studying it passionately, and consulting the spiritual leaders in my life. But I want to take this walk together, and I am so grateful you have followed up to this point. I hope you will check in throughout the year and maybe learn a thing or two along-side me.
Let’s be exceptional! Let’s be different. Different from everything this world tells us to be. Let’s not just be “cultural Christians”, let’s pursue Him. Pursue His word, pursue His truth, and pursue His kingdom! Let’s give Him control!